What was that?

Rosie O’Donnell’s live hour Thanksgiving Eve was meant to revive the variety genre. It may just have killed it forever.

“Rosie Live” found the ex-”View” co-host welcoming everyone from Liza Minnelli to Conan O’Brien to Ne-Yo. The musical numbers, for the most part, were good. The kid tap dancers were adorable; the teens not so much. The spinning act got old about 15 seconds in.

Whatever that show was, it was not family-friendly. Rosie opened with a cringe-worthy monologue in which she couldn’t shut up about her girdle. Then she practically drooled about her teenage son’s 6-pack abs. Ewwww. Alec Baldwin talked into her breasts. There seemed to be a gay joke around every corner.

How would you have liked to have been in the audience? They certainly got enough bribes to go home happy - Blackberries, GPS, White Castle burgers, Trivial Pursuit games and more. With Jane Krakowski singing the merchandise, it was product placement run amok.

Baldwin dropped off a stage door that was used to usher in celebrity guests. I kept hoping Elizabeth Hasselbeck or Barbara Walters would pop up on the other side, but that was probably asking too much.

NBC obviously wasn’t hoping for much by scheduling the show for Thanksgiving Eve. Unfortunately, Rosie didn’t do anything to disprove those expectations. This was a comeback she’ll want to forget.

MTV is reviving its bisexual dating show “A Shot at Love” - this time with twin bisexual sisters.

Rikki and Vikki will star in “A Double Shot at Love,” premiering Dec. 9 at 10 p.m. As with Tila Tequila’s two misbegotten seasons, the two will serve as the prizes for 12 men and 12 lesbians.

Oh, the joke in all this? The women like to be referred to as … The Ikki Twins.

They certainly are.

Ba-dumb-dumb.

And what is MTV’s creepy fascination with these slutty bisexual women? The network would never consider creating such a showcase for a bisexual man - because it knows viewers would either hurl their remotes or just hurl. These shows reinforce the idea somehow that bisexual women are just “pretend” or “temporary” lesbians and can still be won back by men.

Whatever. “A Shot at Love” needs to be euthanized.

ABC has canceled “Pushing Daisies,” “Dirty Sexy Money” and “Eli Stone.”

The three shows have finished shooting their 13-episode orders, according to reports, and the network will apparently allow them all to finish out their runs.

The ratings have been poor for all three shows, victims of the writers strike that never found their footing again with viewers when they returned in the fall.

“Dirty Sexy Money” had a great first season, but it quickly wore out its welcome in my home this fall. The show lost its spunk. “Pushing” has a cult following, but I was not among the devoted. The show was just a little too … precious for me. “Eli” came back with a great opener that managed to re-set its initial premise in a great way. And you can’t beat Sigourney Weaver guesting as God.

Oh, well. To all those fans who are mourning today, I offer my sympathies. This is what DVD sets were made for, my friends.

Warning! Slight spoilers about tonight’s “Shield” ahead!

Tonight is the penultimate episode (at 10 on FX). The series ends its magnificent run next week. I’ve seen both episodes, and they’re packed with the kind of tense plotting you have come to expect from this show.

An ever-more desperate Shane (Walton Goggins) decides to rob some gamblers for their cash. What he doesn’t realize is that they recognize him and have a score to settle as well. Wife Mara gets pulled into the bloodbath that follows.

“They’re coming off the rails,” Vic (Michael Chiklis) remarks later after he hears of the incident.

Vic is thisclose to getting he wants - a full immunity deal with the feds. But there are some huge obstacles in his way. For one, for the full immunity to stick, Vic must make a full confession of all his crimes - and boy, is that list long (topped by that Season One murder of a fellow cop). The feds will only make the offer to him - not to fellow strike team member Ronnie (David Rees Snell).

“I’m not handing you half a win - so I’m not taking half a deal,” Vic tells FBI agent Olivia Murrary (Laurie Holden).

But can he really pass up his Get Out of Jail Forever free card? What could possibly force his hand? Actually, quite a lot, as you’ll see. The episode is capped with a brilliant scene in an FBI conference room that ultimately leaves Olivia feeling as if she’s going to be sick.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me?” she asks.

“I’ve done worse,” he replies.

Brr. It’s great work by all. I’ll have lots to say about the finale next week.

It was a rough week at the networks. Fox canceled “madTV.” NBC canned both “My Own Worst Enemy” and “Lipstick Jungle.” All three shows will air their completed orders of episodes, as it stands right now.

I liked “Enemy,” although I wondered in my review if the producers couldn’t get a handle on the dual-personality gimmick, how the heck were viewers supposed to? Answer: They didn’t. “Enemy” posted dramatically lower numbers with each succeeding episode. “Jungle” never lived up to its hype.

Monday nights are looking horrible for NBC overall. I wouldn’t be surprised if both “Chuck” and “Heroes” are axed before long.

But the show in the most jeopardy right now is ABC’s “Pushing Daisies.” According to reports, the quirky cult show starring Lee Pace has wrapped production of its initial order of 13 episodes, and the network is not likely to order any more. 

If ABC is truly going to clean house, I wouldn’t mind if it took “Dirty Sexy Money” with it. I loved its first season, but the life seems to be have been sucked out of the show. It’s just not a fun show any more.

When you are home sick, you watch trashy TV. I think it’s the law somewhere. Anyway, that’s just what I did on Friday when I was home and trying to forget how miserable I felt. So I pushed through a marathon of soaps, “Judge Judy” and a few other shows I can’t remember.

But ABC’s “One Life to Live” sticks with me for sheer audacity. The last couple of episodes (thanks, SoapNet) culminated with amnesiac Marty sleeping with Todd, the very man who had raped her years ago. Naturally, Marty has no idea - yet - that Todd inflicted such damage on her. She spent Friday cooing at Todd and writing mush in her journal.

And even in my fogged state, I kept wondering: Who wants to see this story? Who wants to see a rape victim fall in love with her assailant? Are the writers trying to make a statement about the redemptive power of love (ehh, doubtful) or are they making a statement about female romantic fantasies? Do women really think that if they are just nice enough, even bad old rapists will come around and love them? It’s bewildering to me that a genre dedicated to women so often shows them being abused and degraded.

The most outrageous part came at the end of the episode. The actress who plays Marty stepped out and did a PSA for a national rape crisis hotline. Talk about your mixed messages: That’s right, ladies, if you’ve been a victim of sexual assault, call this number - and we’ll see if we can’t get you another date with Prince Charming.

And just a minute after that stupidity faded, it was on to “General Hospital,” in which Luke begged Laura for another chance. Luke & Laura comprise the show’s greatest couple of all time, a romance that started with - no, you guessed it - a rape back in the ’80s. Laura fell in love with her rapist, and the rest is soap cliche.

These shows should come with a warning label: May be hazardous to your mental health.

It might just be the most controversial firing of the TV season: ABC’s “Grey’s Anatomy” has dropped actress Brooke Smith, who plays Dr. Erica Hahn. Her last episode airs Thursday.

The actress tells Entertainment Weekly that she believes ABC told show producer/creator Shonda Rhimes to dump her because the network was uncomfortable with the same-sex romance between her character and Callie (Sara Ramirez).

Rhimes is trying to do damage control with TV Guide, saying that the show still has a gay doc - Callie - and that her character will deal with the loss of her romance, much as it took an entire season for Cristina (Sandra Oh) to get over Burke.

Ehh, but they are not comparable relationships. Cristina was involved with Burke for a couple of years and almost married him. It makes sense she would grieve for so long (even though I suspect it had more to do with the fact that the writers suffered from a major case of the stupids and couldn’t come up with a decent story for Oh).

Callie was just coming out and having her first girl-on-girl sex (handled rather inanely by the show, IMHO). Rhimes implies Callie will need a year to get over Hahn (who, fyi, has no proper sendoff if you believe Smith).

Here’s the thing: a solitary gay person on a show built around romance and couples isn’t groundbreaking. It’s tokenism. “Grey’s” should be better than that. ABC should have left this story alone.

There’s a lot of activity for a Monday on the network front.

The good: ABC has given a full season pick-up to the sitcom “Samantha Who?” The episodes have been a bit scattered this year, but I still love star Christina Applegate and Emmy winner Jean Smart as her ditzy mom.

 The bad: NBC has fired two executive producers of “Heroes.” Jeph Loeb and Jesse Alexander, both of whom also wrote for the show, were let go due for creative and budgetary reasons, according to TV Guide. As both were the right-hand men of creator Tim Kring, I can’t help thinking that NBC is sending the strongest possible message it can to Kring: “Get the show together or your (bleep) is grass.” What’s stunning about the report to these eyes is the fact that the show routinely exceeds its $4 million budget-per-episode. Given the way the show is bleeding viewers, how long can NBC keep it going? I’ve given my suggestions before, so let me reiterate one: Stop all the time-shifting already.

The fugly: NBC has given the bland “Kath & Kim” a full-order pick-up. The press release touts the show’s success on Thursday night. As I wrote last week, its ratings are just horrible. Given the long leash it has given “Heroes” and now this, I’m starting to suspect NBC execs live in perpetual denial - not a safe place for a fourth-place network.

Barack Obama bought a half-hour of network time Wednesday night and promised to reform the economy, the federal budget, the military and the nation’s schools.

It was a lot for a half-hour. I might have left out a few categories. No one can criticize him for failing to think big.

The half-hour, which reportedly cost the Democratic presidential nominee $1 million on each network it aired (CBS, NBC, Fox and a few others), was expertly filmed and edited. The music score worked overtime to set a mood.

The most compelling moments came from so-called average Americans, middle-class workers from the heartland - for example, a retired couple struggling with health care costs  in Ohio, and the teacher in New Mexico who works two jobs and still can’t make ends meet.  “You feel you can’t breathe even though you need to breathe,” the latter said.

Also interspersed - much less effectively - were cameos from various political figures, including our own Gov. Deval Patrick. Seriously? Obama couldn’t find anyone else? Maybe Patrick plays better out of the state.

About the only “negative” campaigning I caught came when Obama boasted of running mate Joe Biden’s foreign policy experience. That seemed like a deliberate dig against Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

So how effective was it? Obama laid out a series of definite goals everyone can now hold him accountable to, if he is elected. His “rescue plan” for  the middle class promises to cut taxes for families making less than $200,000 and offer business credits to companies that hire in this country. The clean energy plan seems farfetched to my ears - 5 million jobs in the next 10 years “that can never be outsourced.” Really? And good luck going through the federal budget line by line and cutting special interest programs.

The moment that resonated most for me was when he described his mother’s painful bout with cancer and her untimely death. I lost my mother to cancer and could fully relate to everything he said.

But no one who watched last night can say they don’t know what Obama stands for. He told you squarely. Now you have a decision to make.

If there’s a show that fits the definition of trainwreck TV, it’s VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.”

If you can get past Gary Busey’s outlandish behavior - and you’ll have to work at that - the unscripted series debuting Thursday at 10 p.m. offers some poignant reminders of how pernicious addiction can be.

As both “American Idol” finalist Nikki McKibbon and model/actress Amber Smith reveal, addiction can be a family activity - something to be shared with loved ones. But when a parent uses, children just don’t have a chance. Smith has been doing drugs with her mother for years, and she’s hoping that if she get cleans, she can convince her mom to get help.

McKibbon’s mom overdosed shortly after getting high with her daughter. Try living with that guilt.

Guns ‘N Roses drummer Steven Adler reveals his stepfather gave his mother a choice: him or the kid. And so an 11-year-old Steven came home from school one day and found all his belongings on the front lawn. Even Dr. Drew has trouble processing that information. Since that incident, Adler estimates he hasn’t been sober for more than 2.5 days at a time.

“Cocaine does something to you that causes you not to be who you are. You’re actually killing yourself while you’re having fun,” Busey says in one of his lucid moments.

Rodney King says, “If I can wake up to a beer, I’m in a good life.”

Much of the show veers from harrowing to inadvertently humorous (thanks to Busey), but there are moments when you can tell the celebs - especially Jeff Conaway and his girlfriend - are vying for camera time. And that makes us all complicit in hindering their recovery.